All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
