it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
