She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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