last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
