So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
