brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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