It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
