I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
