it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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