Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
