ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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