Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
