wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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