Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
