stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
