there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
