Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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