I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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