I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
