I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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