After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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