he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
