next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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