Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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