I only kidnapped one of them. chill
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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