If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
