So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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