Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize