i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Panties = found
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
