Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
