roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
