you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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