Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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