I need help removing her.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
