we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
