I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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