thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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