My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
