Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
