So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
