Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Two words: blizzard sex
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
