Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
