yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
This is my life. Enjoy the view
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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