Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize