pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
bring money and cleavage
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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