I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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