Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
