please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
ttyl tear gas
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize