I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
