Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Randomize
