Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
