its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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