i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
