Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
there is glitter all over my balls
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
