I heard we made out
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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