i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
