You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
