And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
