I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize