Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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